When THEY won't let YOU move on

It amazes me when you have or your trying to move on and people will not allow you to. Maybe I should say, people make it hard for you to. There are so many people in this world that feed off of drama! They feel the need to get their daily meal out of someone's else's life. Once (and during) I got over the relationship with that troll, people felt the need to "report" to me what he had going on. Like I cared! Okay, transparent moment. Honestly in the beginning I wanted to know because I did not want to see him "doing good." I wanted to hear that he was going through pain and got cheated on himself! But after awhile I could have cared less! Trying to keep up with what he had going all while putting myself back together was draining! 

Not giving a jam about what they have going on in their life... That is called progression girl! People would tell me oh, he brought a house, or he got married, he did this and he did that. Hearing all of it was so exhausting! All I wanted to do was move on from that chapter in my life. Yet, nosey roseies wanted to keep hope alive. It wasn't benefiting me though, only themselves. Giving them something to gossip about. They were just picking at my healed wounds. Please baby girl, do not allow this to happen to you. If they want to keep up with the latest drama of everyone's else's life instead of their own, let them! Just say to them "Look Honey, don't bring that mess over here. He is a non factor to me now."  

You should care less about what they having going on. Be happy for them! I know your like, how can I be happy for someone that did what they did to me? You have to forgive. At first, its going to be hard but eventually it will get easier. I hated hearing about how "good" he was doing. I struggled with how could he possibly be living happily ever after, after what he did! Oh they moved on? Oh their having a baby? Tell yourself your happy for them and pray for him. 

Those constant news updates are only holding you back. Only for that report to possibly get back to him. People love traveling your gossip, instead of their own. I remember a situation happened that I was upset about and people went back and told him. Then I got the report back that he laughed about it. It gave his narcissistic tail satisfaction. Don't allow him to keep being pleased off of your hurt. It's not fair to you. Tell those people to mind there own business but we all know that's hard for them to do! You need to careless about what he may be doing and do you boo! 

There is always going to be people in this world that is going to try and bring you down. Expect it but don't let it stop your show! They will eventually realize that you are unbothered by him or what he has going on. That little motion he has going on in his life is nothing compared to what God has in store for you! Now I am not one to wish anything bad on anyone but karma comes back around. So while they are off married and having kids with the new girl, applaud them! That door has been closed and the door that is about to open.... *praise break*

Just because they are posting how happy they are in on social media, trying to keep up with the Jones, there is always things going on behind closed doors. So don't let them fool you! They want people to report what they have "good" going on in their life continuously only to cover up what's really going on.. Look at it this way, be pleased that you are still relevant in their life. You've moved on and it could be years later but your still topic of conversation. I don't get it but don't even give it time nor energy. Pray for those people that have nothing better to do..

So! If your girlfriend hits you up. "Girllll, I got some tea for you!" Then they go on to tell you about YOUR ex and what he has going on. Stop them! Right there is mid sentence. Tell them to have several seats and you are not concerned! Tell them just like that and in that order. No one has time to be worried about the next one and what they have going on in their lives when God is trying to work on you. Don't allow other to hold you back from your blessings. It's only the devil stalling you from your healing. 

A Letter to the Other Woman

Dear The Other Woman,

Congratulations, you won!  I know I didn’t put up much of a fight against you but I know for a fact that in my relationship with that "man" I gave my all. It didn’t take much for you to sweep what I thought was real right from under my feet. Bravo! Bravo! I'm actually kind of shocked that it was that easy. You go girl! I want to inform you that I am honored that you were able to snatch what I thought I wanted and showed me that I deserve so much more. Hopefully, one day you will realize that you do also before it’s too late.

You see, if it wasn’t for you, I would be still stuck in a relationship that I wasn’t truly happy in. I was only settling for what I thought was a good relationship but the truth of matter is, I wasn’t fulfilled. Are you? During my relationship with your now “man” I was constantly praying for God to purge the things and people out of my life that he didn’t see fit. Then you came along. How does the saying go? “God works in mysterious ways, honey.” At first I blamed you but then I had a reality check and realized that this is what I was asking God for. He knew I wanted marriage, kids, the house with the white picket fence and in order for him to send those things into my life, he had to move the random (your now boo) that I was holding on to out of my life.

Truthfully, I hope you are truly happy and not living in fear. Living with the fear that some other woman will come along and do what you did to me. I mean if it was that easy for you… But hey, you don’t have anything to worry about that, right?

Now, don’t get me wrong, you have gained you a wonderful man. He says he loves, he takes care of you, he blasts you on all of his social media platforms, wine and dines you; you know all of the "good stuff." Let me ask you a few questions though. When he isn’t in his narcissist ways (which is rarely) does he truly supports you, deeply shows you that he cares for you, does he lead you spiritually? I’m going to say this, be careful with the image that he is trying to uphold because that image is not benefiting you in anyway. He will have you floating on Cloud 9 but please be careful because that cloud could explode with more precipitation (drama, cheating, lies, and disappointment) than you can handle. Not to mention, what goes around comes around, full circle. So cliché, right? How about, “the way you got that man, is the same way that you could lose that man.”

I must say that I constantly pray for the both of you. I pray that the both of you are truly happy within the home and not through your highlight reel. I would never want to wish ill will or what the both of you did to me upon anyone else. I have moved to the side and allowed God to handle the situation the way he sees fit. You are of no worry to me anymore. I have placed it all in his hands. I now understand that God was only protecting me and making way for his best for me. What you have now was not his best, for me that is. So, I forgive you. I forgive you for knowing about me and still choosing to wreck my home. Honestly, I truly feel sorry for you but I pray that everything works out in your favor. But, if you ever need guidance through heartbreak, I am your girl because I know exactly what you are going to go through because I have been in those shoes before.

I wish you the best darling and I truly hope that you got what you wanted .

Sincerely,

The Ex-Girlfriend

Did you really win?