Forgiveness

Learn from what happen, pray for them, and move forward. The door is now closed, and guess what? It will be okay.

– Tovares Grey

When someone hurts you, its so easy to want to pay them back in full! If you are anything like me, you would want to do some damage, girl! But you see, I'm a classy woman, therefore I took the high road and just left with my head held high. Now, I can't speak for my friends and family, they want to kick some butt, slash some tires, and some more stuff. My friends always tell me I am such a strong woman for handling the entire situation the way I did. I had to say to myself, is it really worth it? Worth the energy and dignity to try and hurt them the way that they hurt me.

The Bible tells us to befriend our enemies. Eh! I can't say that I will ever befriend him but I can say that I can give him respect just as a cashier in the grocery store. You know the smile and pay for your grocery and you out, type of respect!

When we've been wounded by someone, it's hard to forgive that person for what they may have caused you. Especially, if you never receive closure or a simple sorry. The truth is forgiveness is not always for the person that hurt you, it's for you. It allows you to move on from that chapter in your life. When you don't forgive that person that cut you so deeply it is only hindering you in your healing process.

Now, I am not saying that you have to call that person up or send them a text stating that you have forgiven them. Do as you see fit but that person doesn't necessarily have to know. Your forgiveness towards them could be as simple as cracking a smile to them as they walk by. Forgiving them definitely does not excuse their misdeeds towards you but it allows you to be the bigger person. You are able to recognize, forgive, and love them from a distance in spite of their actions. Honey, you are much stronger that you think!

During this healing process it's hard to forgive. I know firsthand it took me awhile to forgive that fool for what he put me through. He hurt me so badly. I had to realize that if I was going to move on, I had to forgive him and his selfish ways. I even had to forgive the female that he cheated on me with. I constantly prayed for the Lord to work on me and my ability to forgive them. It's a process in itself and certainly not easy trust me! It is nothing that happens over night. When you are truly able to understand that their removal from your life is for your good and making room for greater, it's easier to forgive them and thank them for walking out of your life.

*Praise Dance*

As I've said before, forgiveness is something that you have to do for YOU. Learn to forgive them even if they’re not sorry. Pray for them. Allow God to handle them the way that he sees fit. I know it’s easy to sit around and wish that they can feel your pain or wish karma over their lives but it isn’t the right thing to do. It is not your place to wish horrible things upon their lives because of what they have done to you. I personally struggled in this area. I desperately wanted him to feel the pain, to cry every night, for him to get cheated on, beg for me back, etc. The list goes on but I had to realize that he was not my problem anymore and I had to hand him over to the Lord. He wasn’t my responsibility, no matter how much I wanted to take matters into my own hands. I truly had to let go and a part of letting go was truly forgiving him. When you are able to honestly let go, it will be a weight lifted off of your spirit. Relief. That person doesn’t deserve you to give them anymore of yourself. Not your time nor your thoughts. They walked out or caused you to have to walk out remember? So, don’t allow for them to constantly run your life.

You have to realize that breakups aren’t always meant for make ups, sometimes relationships end so you can wake up!

-Kimberly Jones Pothier

When someone breaks up with you and continues to try to hurt you. Do yourself favor and cut them off. Apply the no contact rule. No phone calls, no text messages, sliding in the DM's, no nothing!Allowing them to continue to have access to you creates confusion and it keeps your heart from mending. Misery loves company so don’t allow for them to cause that in your life. They broke up with you, broke your heart and now they don’t want to see you happy. Know that you are a child of God and in him comes joy, not temporary happiness. That heartbreak and rejection was God’s way of saying, “I’ve got BETTER for you. Girl get ready!

Forgiveness:

-          Breaks a cycle of retaliation and leads to mutual reconciliation.

-          May make the enemy feel ashamed and change his or her ways.

-          Repaying evil with evil, hurts you just as much as it hurts your enemy.

“Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone. Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger to God. For the scripture says, I will take revenge, I will pay them back,” says the Lord.”

Romans 13: 17-19