Prayer Journal

When they say reading is fundamental, writing is as well. Writing out your prayers can be so relieving. This has been something I've always done, ever since I was a teen. I always kept a journal/diary that I would write about whatever was on my mind and I didn't want to share with anyone else. God certainly knows how to keep a secret! I even remember having a journal with my best friend in middle school, where we wrote back and forth to each other every week. I still have it till this day.

As I've gotten older, I turned my "diary" into my prayer journal. This is where I cast all of my cares unto the Lord and just talk to Jesus. Let me tell you! Writing in a journal can relieve so much stress and truly clear your mind! It gives you a chance to release your ideas, pray, and really take a moment to reflect. No matter what you may be going through, take the time out each day or every few days (whenever your schedule permits) and just write whatever it is on your heart. During my tough breakup, I went through two journals of just prayers, crying out to him and explaining to him how I felt.

It's always fun to go back to your old journals and read them. You will look back at how far you've come! Sometimes, I read an old journal entry/prayer and wonder to myself, why did I even waste my time writing about that non-sense. It's all about growth honey! It is also great to have a place where you can track your good moments in life as well. Write about that new job, that wonderful date that you had, or even about just having a great day.

Sometimes, I'm not the best when it comes to praying out loud or in my head because I become distracted. Writing down my prayers, I am able to focus a bit more. I'm able to back track in my prayers. This is why I choose to write in my prayer journal. It also teaches me discipline to spend time with God.

Now, if your anything like me you need some cute writing materials to help keep you motivated. I always find the cutest journals at ROSS. They are always affordable and there are so many to choose from. Sometimes, I use colorful pens and stickers to keep it interesting to the eye.

As we go into the new year, truly consider purchasing a journal to help cast your cares unto the Lord. Trust me, you will not regret it. Spend time with the Lord because he loves your like crazy!

When THEY won't let YOU move on

It amazes me when you have or your trying to move on and people will not allow you to. Maybe I should say, people make it hard for you to. There are so many people in this world that feed off of drama! They feel the need to get their daily meal out of someone's else's life. Once (and during) I got over the relationship with that troll, people felt the need to "report" to me what he had going on. Like I cared! Okay, transparent moment. Honestly in the beginning I wanted to know because I did not want to see him "doing good." I wanted to hear that he was going through pain and got cheated on himself! But after awhile I could have cared less! Trying to keep up with what he had going all while putting myself back together was draining! 

Not giving a jam about what they have going on in their life... That is called progression girl! People would tell me oh, he brought a house, or he got married, he did this and he did that. Hearing all of it was so exhausting! All I wanted to do was move on from that chapter in my life. Yet, nosey roseies wanted to keep hope alive. It wasn't benefiting me though, only themselves. Giving them something to gossip about. They were just picking at my healed wounds. Please baby girl, do not allow this to happen to you. If they want to keep up with the latest drama of everyone's else's life instead of their own, let them! Just say to them "Look Honey, don't bring that mess over here. He is a non factor to me now."  

You should care less about what they having going on. Be happy for them! I know your like, how can I be happy for someone that did what they did to me? You have to forgive. At first, its going to be hard but eventually it will get easier. I hated hearing about how "good" he was doing. I struggled with how could he possibly be living happily ever after, after what he did! Oh they moved on? Oh their having a baby? Tell yourself your happy for them and pray for him. 

Those constant news updates are only holding you back. Only for that report to possibly get back to him. People love traveling your gossip, instead of their own. I remember a situation happened that I was upset about and people went back and told him. Then I got the report back that he laughed about it. It gave his narcissistic tail satisfaction. Don't allow him to keep being pleased off of your hurt. It's not fair to you. Tell those people to mind there own business but we all know that's hard for them to do! You need to careless about what he may be doing and do you boo! 

There is always going to be people in this world that is going to try and bring you down. Expect it but don't let it stop your show! They will eventually realize that you are unbothered by him or what he has going on. That little motion he has going on in his life is nothing compared to what God has in store for you! Now I am not one to wish anything bad on anyone but karma comes back around. So while they are off married and having kids with the new girl, applaud them! That door has been closed and the door that is about to open.... *praise break*

Just because they are posting how happy they are in on social media, trying to keep up with the Jones, there is always things going on behind closed doors. So don't let them fool you! They want people to report what they have "good" going on in their life continuously only to cover up what's really going on.. Look at it this way, be pleased that you are still relevant in their life. You've moved on and it could be years later but your still topic of conversation. I don't get it but don't even give it time nor energy. Pray for those people that have nothing better to do..

So! If your girlfriend hits you up. "Girllll, I got some tea for you!" Then they go on to tell you about YOUR ex and what he has going on. Stop them! Right there is mid sentence. Tell them to have several seats and you are not concerned! Tell them just like that and in that order. No one has time to be worried about the next one and what they have going on in their lives when God is trying to work on you. Don't allow other to hold you back from your blessings. It's only the devil stalling you from your healing. 

A Letter to the Other Woman

Dear The Other Woman,

Congratulations, you won!  I know I didn’t put up much of a fight against you but I know for a fact that in my relationship with that "man" I gave my all. It didn’t take much for you to sweep what I thought was real right from under my feet. Bravo! Bravo! I'm actually kind of shocked that it was that easy. You go girl! I want to inform you that I am honored that you were able to snatch what I thought I wanted and showed me that I deserve so much more. Hopefully, one day you will realize that you do also before it’s too late.

You see, if it wasn’t for you, I would be still stuck in a relationship that I wasn’t truly happy in. I was only settling for what I thought was a good relationship but the truth of matter is, I wasn’t fulfilled. Are you? During my relationship with your now “man” I was constantly praying for God to purge the things and people out of my life that he didn’t see fit. Then you came along. How does the saying go? “God works in mysterious ways, honey.” At first I blamed you but then I had a reality check and realized that this is what I was asking God for. He knew I wanted marriage, kids, the house with the white picket fence and in order for him to send those things into my life, he had to move the random (your now boo) that I was holding on to out of my life.

Truthfully, I hope you are truly happy and not living in fear. Living with the fear that some other woman will come along and do what you did to me. I mean if it was that easy for you… But hey, you don’t have anything to worry about that, right?

Now, don’t get me wrong, you have gained you a wonderful man. He says he loves, he takes care of you, he blasts you on all of his social media platforms, wine and dines you; you know all of the "good stuff." Let me ask you a few questions though. When he isn’t in his narcissist ways (which is rarely) does he truly supports you, deeply shows you that he cares for you, does he lead you spiritually? I’m going to say this, be careful with the image that he is trying to uphold because that image is not benefiting you in anyway. He will have you floating on Cloud 9 but please be careful because that cloud could explode with more precipitation (drama, cheating, lies, and disappointment) than you can handle. Not to mention, what goes around comes around, full circle. So cliché, right? How about, “the way you got that man, is the same way that you could lose that man.”

I must say that I constantly pray for the both of you. I pray that the both of you are truly happy within the home and not through your highlight reel. I would never want to wish ill will or what the both of you did to me upon anyone else. I have moved to the side and allowed God to handle the situation the way he sees fit. You are of no worry to me anymore. I have placed it all in his hands. I now understand that God was only protecting me and making way for his best for me. What you have now was not his best, for me that is. So, I forgive you. I forgive you for knowing about me and still choosing to wreck my home. Honestly, I truly feel sorry for you but I pray that everything works out in your favor. But, if you ever need guidance through heartbreak, I am your girl because I know exactly what you are going to go through because I have been in those shoes before.

I wish you the best darling and I truly hope that you got what you wanted .

Sincerely,

The Ex-Girlfriend

Did you really win?

A Painful Heart

That reoccurring pain... It sucks! Just when you think you are doing well, something else triggers the pain. Honey, be strong because I promise you that it gets better. 

That pain that you feel, I have felt before. It is a pain that cannot be explained. It hurts and it feels as though someone has taken your heart right out of your chest. Trust me, I know it is killing you inside. I've been there and I am so sorry that you are going through this season. Cling to God and ask him to heal your heart. He is the one that heals the brokenhearted. Cry out to him and allow for him to take away that pain. Feel his presence. I know, each day you are asking yourself when will it go away. Time. It takes time to heal but with God all your wounds will be healed. 

One thing that helped me was listening to worship music and just crying out to him. Tell the Lord to take away the pain. Of course it doesn’t happen right away but God hears you, he sees every tear that falls from your eyes. He will step in when the time is right. Wait on him. He has you and that pain you are feeling will go away. Take a deep breath and know that what you are feeling is only temporary. It gets better.

When I say that I know your pain, I know firsthand. For months, I cried and pleaded with God to take away that pain. For months, I felt as though I could not take life anymore. I wanted to give up. I had no problems sleeping but I couldn’t eat. I wasn’t able to eat for months and I lost several pounds. My clothes didn’t fit me anymore and you could see it in my face that depression had taken over me. In the pit of my chest, it ached. It hurt so badly and I didn’t know how to put back the pieces that he shattered. Over the course of months, I dealt with the pain that he caused me. How could this supposedly man, leave me after three years for another female? I questioned myself constantly, what did I do wrong? When I knew for a fact that I did nothing wrong. Worrying and trying to figure out the answers to my unanswered questions drove me 80mph into my depression. Please, do let this be you. Take it from me, it’s not a road that you want to go down.

Knowing that I went through that pain brings tears to my eyes because it’s a pain that you wouldn’t want to wish on anyone but yet I wanted him to feel what he was putting me through. It hurt and it seemed as though he didn’t care. Not once did he reach back to say, “Are you okay?” He moved on with this girl and didn’t look back. Knowing that is what hurt the most I believe. I can’t explain a heartbreak but trust me I know what you are feeling and what you are going through. I also know that you feel weak and you are tired of crying but please don’t give up. I am a walking testimony that it gets better. I'm here for you. God is here with you. Fight through this because it's not the end, it's only the beginning. 

Your pain has purpose.

Broken crayons still color the same.

– Trent Shelton

Forgiveness

Learn from what happen, pray for them, and move forward. The door is now closed, and guess what? It will be okay.

– Tovares Grey

When someone hurts you, its so easy to want to pay them back in full! If you are anything like me, you would want to do some damage, girl! But you see, I'm a classy woman, therefore I took the high road and just left with my head held high. Now, I can't speak for my friends and family, they want to kick some butt, slash some tires, and some more stuff. My friends always tell me I am such a strong woman for handling the entire situation the way I did. I had to say to myself, is it really worth it? Worth the energy and dignity to try and hurt them the way that they hurt me.

The Bible tells us to befriend our enemies. Eh! I can't say that I will ever befriend him but I can say that I can give him respect just as a cashier in the grocery store. You know the smile and pay for your grocery and you out, type of respect!

When we've been wounded by someone, it's hard to forgive that person for what they may have caused you. Especially, if you never receive closure or a simple sorry. The truth is forgiveness is not always for the person that hurt you, it's for you. It allows you to move on from that chapter in your life. When you don't forgive that person that cut you so deeply it is only hindering you in your healing process.

Now, I am not saying that you have to call that person up or send them a text stating that you have forgiven them. Do as you see fit but that person doesn't necessarily have to know. Your forgiveness towards them could be as simple as cracking a smile to them as they walk by. Forgiving them definitely does not excuse their misdeeds towards you but it allows you to be the bigger person. You are able to recognize, forgive, and love them from a distance in spite of their actions. Honey, you are much stronger that you think!

During this healing process it's hard to forgive. I know firsthand it took me awhile to forgive that fool for what he put me through. He hurt me so badly. I had to realize that if I was going to move on, I had to forgive him and his selfish ways. I even had to forgive the female that he cheated on me with. I constantly prayed for the Lord to work on me and my ability to forgive them. It's a process in itself and certainly not easy trust me! It is nothing that happens over night. When you are truly able to understand that their removal from your life is for your good and making room for greater, it's easier to forgive them and thank them for walking out of your life.

*Praise Dance*

As I've said before, forgiveness is something that you have to do for YOU. Learn to forgive them even if they’re not sorry. Pray for them. Allow God to handle them the way that he sees fit. I know it’s easy to sit around and wish that they can feel your pain or wish karma over their lives but it isn’t the right thing to do. It is not your place to wish horrible things upon their lives because of what they have done to you. I personally struggled in this area. I desperately wanted him to feel the pain, to cry every night, for him to get cheated on, beg for me back, etc. The list goes on but I had to realize that he was not my problem anymore and I had to hand him over to the Lord. He wasn’t my responsibility, no matter how much I wanted to take matters into my own hands. I truly had to let go and a part of letting go was truly forgiving him. When you are able to honestly let go, it will be a weight lifted off of your spirit. Relief. That person doesn’t deserve you to give them anymore of yourself. Not your time nor your thoughts. They walked out or caused you to have to walk out remember? So, don’t allow for them to constantly run your life.

You have to realize that breakups aren’t always meant for make ups, sometimes relationships end so you can wake up!

-Kimberly Jones Pothier

When someone breaks up with you and continues to try to hurt you. Do yourself favor and cut them off. Apply the no contact rule. No phone calls, no text messages, sliding in the DM's, no nothing!Allowing them to continue to have access to you creates confusion and it keeps your heart from mending. Misery loves company so don’t allow for them to cause that in your life. They broke up with you, broke your heart and now they don’t want to see you happy. Know that you are a child of God and in him comes joy, not temporary happiness. That heartbreak and rejection was God’s way of saying, “I’ve got BETTER for you. Girl get ready!

Forgiveness:

-          Breaks a cycle of retaliation and leads to mutual reconciliation.

-          May make the enemy feel ashamed and change his or her ways.

-          Repaying evil with evil, hurts you just as much as it hurts your enemy.

“Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone. Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger to God. For the scripture says, I will take revenge, I will pay them back,” says the Lord.”

Romans 13: 17-19

The Highlight Reel

Social Media has become so many peoples reality. It's pretty sad if you think about it. They live off of the amount of likes and comments that they get from an edited photo or filtered video. This is what we call a highlight reel. A place where individuals highlight all the good in their lives, showcasing what they WANT you to see. Ok, I'm guilty but I am not about to put up the bad and ugly going on in my life, who does that? So, the outsider looking in gets drawn into the false advertisements of others lives. Thinking that they've got it all put together and got it going on. Well honey, I am here to tell you that they don't! 

Real recognize Real Moment

For me, when I was digging where I had no business, in his profile, I would see him posting pictures of them together all happy go lucky. He kept his profile open for awhile, which I believe was a tactic to get to me, and it worked! Anyways, he would post pictures of them like he didn't just break up with me a week ago and took all of our pictures down. He had this girl in his back pocket for awhile is what it all boils down to. He broke up with me and pulled her out for the entire world to see! Just like that and in that order. He would post captions such as "He is happier than he's ever been." Not to mention he said the same things about me, under our pictures. Girl, he are putting on for the media, hard! It was so annoying but I was dumb enough to keep feeding into it.

Understand this, no matter how much people stunt for social media, in real life they are still the SAME person. Remember that! They just have someone new around their arm and on their page. So the same things you dealt with him are the same things that she is going to have to deal with. The poor finance management, self centered mentality, the lies, and maybe the cheating still remains. They can not change those traits in a matter of days.

 Is it really true, "Once a cheater, always a cheater?" 

Don't get caught up in the edited photos because honestly you don't know what is going on behind closed doors. Nor is it any of your business because guess what? They aren't your problem anymore! Let's give a huge sigh of relief! 

These social media platforms are places where people want you to think only the good of them. I mean who is going to post a picture of the mess that they are in? So, stop searching, because when you start digging you are bound to find something.

Get off of their social media! Block them if you have to. I know I sure did. It came to a point where I didn't want to know anything about what they had going on and I dang on sure didn't want them to know what I was doing! Not to say that they were concerned in the first place but I wasn't giving them the option! I truly had to remove myself from social media to guard my heart. Mainly because I was ashamed of what others would think of me. I mean he did cheat on me. I use to think that well since he cheated on me I had to have done something wrong...

Wrong answer! I was more than a great woman to that boy. He just wasn't man enough to see it. I wasn't good enough for him and that is perfectly fine. Just know that you will be good enough for somebody one day! 

Let me tell you one thing that I learned during my break-up, people aren't stupid. They can figure things out through a couple of photos. It's crazy! It's sad but people live for the drama girl. They can figure out if you deleted your pictures off Instagram of one girl then a few weeks later you flood their timelines with a new one...just saying girl! So don't drive yourself crazy wondering what everyone is thinking. Who cares?! You did nothing wrong so live in your truth. They will end up trying to put two and two together, so you don't have to explain yourself to anyone. Trust me, they will ask. There are always three sides to every story, yours, theirs, and the truth. Honey, God doesn't like ugly so if they continue to lie on you the truth will eventually come out. So don't waste your time trying to explain your side of the story! Let God work it out. What's that saying? What goes around comes back around. 

It may not be immediately but it will make its way back around. Let them put on for their social media sights and live their life, it is ok. It is not always what it seems, so do not feed into what it seems to be and allow your mind to play tricks on you. Allow social media be what it is and live in YOUR reality.

Isaiah 41:10

“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

Jealously is a Disease

Have you ever felt like life was happening around you but not to you?

Before the breakup, life was good and everything seem to be going according to plan, MY plan that is. I thought I was about to get my diamond ring, have my dream wedding, and have those beautiful children. Before my eyes, everything went left and came crashing down. Then, once I had learned to accept what had happened and became a little content, it seems like everyone around me has everything going for themselves but me. Have you ever felt this way? Preach to me if you have! 

A spirit of envy had taken ahold of my heart.

Your friends are getting married and having children, getting new jobs, buying new houses, and truly enjoying life. But what about me?! You may be asking yourself. Everyone is being blessed with the things that you want, while you are left trying to pick up the pieces and mending a broken heart.

Girl... I can tell you jealousy is a powerful thing! It is not a characteristic of a Christian and it only shows that you are still being controlled and conformed by your own desires.

Please understand that each of us has a purpose in life and no one’s path is the same. Yet, no matter what one’s task is, it is all for the works for the Lord.

1 Corinthians 3:3.

Being jealous indicates that we are not satisfied with what God has already blessed you with. How can God trust us with more if we are not content with what we already have? According to Paul, those who practice jealousy will not inherit the Kingdom of God.

Girl, I can attest, during my time of healing from my breakup it seemed like everyone around me was doing great, while I was crying myself to sleep every night! My friends were having babies, travelling, getting married, and living life the way that I wanted. I thought God had forgotten  all about me! Here I am going through so much pain and trying to do the right thing, I felt like my life was at a complete stand still. (Not knowing that He was working behind the scenes, you know he is always working right?) How is this fair! Whelp, as the saying goes... Life isn't fair!

The act of jealousy is needing something someone else has to be fully satisfied. For example, if you desire to have a child and you learn that your friend is pregnant, jealousy can consume you. It is what you want and what you feel you need to be satisfied in this world. One of the first steps in overcoming jealousy is truly understanding that you are not trusting God and his promise that he over your life. You are conforming to the things of this world to be satisfied. I'm going to tell you, on the other side of that envious heart is a blessing awaiting to happen!

Although, you may feel as though you are in a dry season and things seem to be moving slow for you compared to others, hold on. It is only going to make the desires of your heart when they do come that much greater. One thing that you have to remember also is to not compare yourself to others. God has not forgotten about you honey. In this world, it is so easy to do so but you have to fight the fight of faith. You have to learn to trust his plan and believe.

What he has for you is for you. No one cane take it from you.

Do not allow what is happening around you and to others to set you back from your destiny. Social Media is certainly something that contributes to jealousy. You only see the good through the pictures and videos, not the bad and the ugly. I know for me some times I have to step back from my social media accounts and really focus on what I have been blessed with. Try it sometime, you may realize you actually have really darn good!

So, stop looking around for your satisfaction. Your time will come for those things that you want. It may not come when you want it but He is always on time!

“As the slower times humbles us, deepen our longings, and make the deliverance all the sweeter when it comes.”

Unknown

Face the Facts

“Acceptance of what has happened is the first step
to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune.”

William James

Let's face the facts! The breakup happened. It's time to get out of your denial and come to realization that they are gone. Stop thinking, "Oh, they'll be back." Honey, they don't need to come back! They made a choice or you had to make the choice to walk away. Why give them the options and have chance after chance? Once you've made that choice to leave, there is no coming back over here! It's a done deal. Now it's time for you to make the decision to either live in denial, fighting to keep that door open to a broken relationship. Or you can make the choice to allow God to close that door and restore you. I know it's hard but it's time to take the steps to accept what has happened. Honey, it is not easy but trust and believe that there is always sunshine after the storm.

That random that has caused you that indescribable pain, let them go! Let them live the life that they choose to live. All you can do is pray for them and leave them in the hands of the Lord. When you are able to fully let them go, you will feel a weight lifted off of your heart. When you want to move towards acceptance, you have to find it within yourself to dig deep. Decide if you want to continue to hurt or do you want to live the life that God has promised you. Girl, its all apart of the his plan! Don't allow this situation to block or hinder your growth any longer. Take back what the devil stole from you. He didn't steal that man either! Accept and move forward in your healing. Don't fight to hold on to a relationship that you thought was meant for you.

What is meant for you, is for you. No one can take it from you.

Acceptance is certainly a hard pill to swallow. Yet, when you are sick and tired of being sick and tired you will figure out a way to swallow it. Its hard to accept that the person that you want doesn't want you anymore. No one likes rejection! You have been hurt, abused, and lied to but God is still in control. There was a point where I kept saying to myself, "why is this happening to me?" I thought I did everything right. Just because your a child of God doesn't mean your immune to the things of this world. Don't carry this hurt and know that you are not alone. Sometimes it seems like there is no way out but in due time things will turn around. This situation is only temporary. Be strong!

He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless (Isaiah 40:29).

You can and will make it through but you have to accept the reality of it all. Make the decision today that you will no longer live in denial. You will no longer allow for him or her, nor the devil to delay your healing. They are not worth it so don't allow them to rule your life. This is something that I had to work on daily. I allowed for him to rule my life by taking over my mind, being afraid to go out in public, continuing on social media, and loosing myself because of what he did to me. I was so ashamed when I didn't do anything wrong! I’m telling you out of experience to fight that spirit of defeat. Greater is coming if you just hold on and don't allow yourself to give up. God always gets the victory so remain in his corner because he is fighting this battle for you!

“Lord grant me the ability to change the things that I can change and accept the things that I am unable to change, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Girl, Get Over It

I get it! Loosing someone that you love/loved is tough but if they wanted to go, girl let them go! Do not even think twice about begging them to stay. It will cause a little or a lot of heartache and pain because essentially you are "loosing" someone. With that being said, sometimes you have to grieve your lost (really its their lost but you know what I mean).

There are five stages of grief:

Denial and Isolation   | Anger   |   Bargaining   |   Depression   |   Acceptance 

You may or may not experience all five stages. Yet, it is extremely important to give your heart the time that it needs to heal. Take your time but try not to take too long! Easier said than done but learn from me, grieving too long will not leave you in the correct state of mind.

During my grieving process, I can be honest, it was tough and I shed many of tears. I allowed myself to go deeper and deeper in my depression over someone that didn't even matter anymore. Now, understand the deeper your in the harder it is to pull yourself out. So, do yourself a favor. It is going to be hard but know that it is perfectly normal and it... is... ok. Cry, scream, do whatever you have to do but most importantly P-R-A-Y.

​At the end of the day, their gone because they chose to leave or you had to make the choice to leave. Either way, let them go and let it be! They didn't see your value when they were with you and they aren't going to value you if you stay. It's their lost! They may not realize it today, tomorrow, or every two years from now but eventually they will. That isn't of your concern though, allow God to handle it. It is time for you to do you, boo! Move on to bigger and better. Don't give too much energy crying over them because I can tell you one thing, they are not crying over you! If they are anything like my ex, they will smile at seeing you cry. They may talk a good game but in reality they will only try to keep you around as a side piece. 

Honey, you are no back pocket chic! Someone they can keep in the back pocket when they "need" something. You better tell them that you are not a convenient store!

This is not Burger King, they can not have their way!

Realize that God has removed that person from your life, for YOUR good! Let me tell you, during my grieving process I hit all five stages, which was the worst! I was in the depression stages for months. I had reached my breaking point and it took me some time to get out of my pity party. Although, its okay to cry, vent, and grieve, don't allow yourself to live in your depression and frustration. When I look back at that time in my life, it makes me upset. I get upset for allowing myself to get that low, over him. Someone that I THOUGHT was everything I wanted but now I realize he isn't worth two dime put together. I was fighting depression while he was smiling for the gram! (Instagram). What kind of foolishness is that? I thought he won and God had him in favor and not me. I felt like he got everything he wanted, which at the time I didn't think was fair. I even became angry at God because I couldn't see why he would allow me to go through so much pain.

Now...

I realize that in the end he got the short end of the stick. God had/has victory for me! I am much better than when I was in that relationship. Don't get me wrong, the two of us had some great times together and made awesome memories. It's when I looked at the long-term, I was/am better off without him.  

It took a couple of months for me to get back to ME, but I did it! You can too! ​This entire situation, God is preparing you. Although you are unable to see it, does not mean that He isn't working. He sees your hurt and pain, and he will restore you. Keep fighting and do not allow the enemy to win! The devil only wants to see you miserable, don't even give him or that troll the satisfaction.

Get out of your funk, do what makes you happy! Starting hanging out with your friends, go shopping, travel, etc. Now, don't be like me, shop and party until you drop because that doesn't solve anything either. Just get back to you and starting living again. Soon you will realize that they were only holding you back from your destiny.

Let it go. By Felicia! Take control over your heart and get ready to walk into your blessing.

Ask your self, did you really NEED him?

Matthew 11:28-30

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

The Heartbreak

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”

Heartbreak

is a noun that describes overwhelming

distress, sadness, and disappointment.

Everyone encounters heartbreak at some point in their lives. It can come in the form of the loss of a love one or a relationship ending. Whatever the case maybe, girl it hurts! The feeling is indescribable. It’s just a pain within your heart that feels like it is taking life out of you. Trust me girl, I have felt this pain before and nobody can understand that feeling unless they’ve felt it firsthand. It’s a pain that I wouldn’t wish upon my worst enemy!

When it comes to a relationship ending, honey I can relate. Having a person walk out on you, choose someone else over you, or cheat on you (or all of the above) is something that is extremely hard to go through. You feel used and taken for granted by a person that you love, wondering how could they and why? Knowing you went above and beyond for that person, giving them no reason to walk out on you. Yet, they found some selfish reason to do so. Bump them!

My Story

To sum up my story, I was dating this guy for almost three years. We eventually moved in together (forty-five minutes away from my hometown, family, and friends), mistake #1! I re-located my job, mistake #2. Basically, I did everything for this man, putting him before myself. Mistake #3! To me, I thought our relationship was peachy and we were headed towards marriage. I seriously thought life was good. Ha! Well, I guess he had other plans because he broke up with me and chose another woman he had been cheating on me with. When I found out I was devastated! I was completely blindsided. Literally, a week before our relationship came crumbling down, we celebrated Valentine’s Day. We conversed about our future together, little did I know in reality he was not referring to his future with me. While I was left to pick up the pieces, he moved on and is living happily ever after. There is a lot more to the story but I will save that for a later post.

Stay tuned...

I wish people would understand that love is more than just a feeling, it is something that you have to choose to work for and keep alive. It is not something that is painful nor will it ever cheat on you. Would God cheat on you? No and never will he. So why settle for a human being cheating on you? Gods love is everlasting and he is the perfect companion. He wipes every tear when they fall, he comforts you when you’re lonely, he is your shelter from the rain, he feeds you when you are hungry, and he always makes a way out of no way! So understand that you will get through this!

This relationship ending was God closing a door that you probably shouldn’t have opened in the first place. It’s just as the saying goes…

“When God closes a door, he opens up another.”

So cliché I know but it certainly is true. Allow him to close that door of that relationship, don’t fight him to keep it open! Protect your heart from the heartache that they have already caused you. Don’t allow them to keep hurting you. And honey take it from me, don’t go around digging and trying to find out answers either. What do I mean by digging? I mean stalking his social media accounts, asking his family and friends questions, trying to contact him. Trust me, been there, done that! You are only adding fuel to that narcissistic fool's fire. It will only bring you more pain or cause you to question even more. Trust me, if I could go back in time, I would have closed that door and nailed it shut!  

I know right now it may be hard for you but know that it gets better. This is not the end, it’s only the beginning. What is for you on the other side of this will so much sweeter. This is only a test to your testimony, so don’t give up! I know it may be easier said than done but don’t allow the devil or that man/woman that hurt you to defeat you. Don’t allow this situation to run your life. Honey, they are not worth it!

Keep pressing into the word of God, not into your circumstances and your healer will do his thing!

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. Love never ends.”

Welcome to The Heartbreak Hotel

Growing up, I’ve always dreamed of the “perfect” love story. Marrying my prince charming, having three kids (yes, three), and living in a beautiful home with the white picked fence. What they didn’t tell me, was that you had to kiss many frogs before your dreams become reality. 

Heartbreak sucks! 

But people break up everyday. 

Some breakups are little tougher to get through. To be transparent, I went through a terrifying breakup that I did not think I would make it out of. Luckily for me, I had a strong support system and the help of my Lord and Savior, I made it through. During my healing process, it was put on my heart to start a blog to help others through their journey. Time and time again, I pushed that thought to the side, thinking that no one wants to hear what I have to say or need my help. Then I realized how I needed help during that time, so why not be a help to others going through the same things that I went through. Let’s be clear, me going through these breakups does not make me an expert but it has made me a stronger woman and strengthen my relationship with God. Now, I am ready to share!

With this blog, my hopes are to help others through their healing process and help them understand that they do not have to go through this alone. It may not be you that is going through a heartbreak but it maybe someone you know. So, please share and let’s mend hearts together!

Thank you for reading and join me on this journey.