When THEY won't let YOU move on

It amazes me when you have or your trying to move on and people will not allow you to. Maybe I should say, people make it hard for you to. There are so many people in this world that feed off of drama! They feel the need to get their daily meal out of someone's else's life. Once (and during) I got over the relationship with that troll, people felt the need to "report" to me what he had going on. Like I cared! Okay, transparent moment. Honestly in the beginning I wanted to know because I did not want to see him "doing good." I wanted to hear that he was going through pain and got cheated on himself! But after awhile I could have cared less! Trying to keep up with what he had going all while putting myself back together was draining! 

Not giving a jam about what they have going on in their life... That is called progression girl! People would tell me oh, he brought a house, or he got married, he did this and he did that. Hearing all of it was so exhausting! All I wanted to do was move on from that chapter in my life. Yet, nosey roseies wanted to keep hope alive. It wasn't benefiting me though, only themselves. Giving them something to gossip about. They were just picking at my healed wounds. Please baby girl, do not allow this to happen to you. If they want to keep up with the latest drama of everyone's else's life instead of their own, let them! Just say to them "Look Honey, don't bring that mess over here. He is a non factor to me now."  

You should care less about what they having going on. Be happy for them! I know your like, how can I be happy for someone that did what they did to me? You have to forgive. At first, its going to be hard but eventually it will get easier. I hated hearing about how "good" he was doing. I struggled with how could he possibly be living happily ever after, after what he did! Oh they moved on? Oh their having a baby? Tell yourself your happy for them and pray for him. 

Those constant news updates are only holding you back. Only for that report to possibly get back to him. People love traveling your gossip, instead of their own. I remember a situation happened that I was upset about and people went back and told him. Then I got the report back that he laughed about it. It gave his narcissistic tail satisfaction. Don't allow him to keep being pleased off of your hurt. It's not fair to you. Tell those people to mind there own business but we all know that's hard for them to do! You need to careless about what he may be doing and do you boo! 

There is always going to be people in this world that is going to try and bring you down. Expect it but don't let it stop your show! They will eventually realize that you are unbothered by him or what he has going on. That little motion he has going on in his life is nothing compared to what God has in store for you! Now I am not one to wish anything bad on anyone but karma comes back around. So while they are off married and having kids with the new girl, applaud them! That door has been closed and the door that is about to open.... *praise break*

Just because they are posting how happy they are in on social media, trying to keep up with the Jones, there is always things going on behind closed doors. So don't let them fool you! They want people to report what they have "good" going on in their life continuously only to cover up what's really going on.. Look at it this way, be pleased that you are still relevant in their life. You've moved on and it could be years later but your still topic of conversation. I don't get it but don't even give it time nor energy. Pray for those people that have nothing better to do..

So! If your girlfriend hits you up. "Girllll, I got some tea for you!" Then they go on to tell you about YOUR ex and what he has going on. Stop them! Right there is mid sentence. Tell them to have several seats and you are not concerned! Tell them just like that and in that order. No one has time to be worried about the next one and what they have going on in their lives when God is trying to work on you. Don't allow other to hold you back from your blessings. It's only the devil stalling you from your healing. 

The Heartbreak

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”

Heartbreak

is a noun that describes overwhelming

distress, sadness, and disappointment.

Everyone encounters heartbreak at some point in their lives. It can come in the form of the loss of a love one or a relationship ending. Whatever the case maybe, girl it hurts! The feeling is indescribable. It’s just a pain within your heart that feels like it is taking life out of you. Trust me girl, I have felt this pain before and nobody can understand that feeling unless they’ve felt it firsthand. It’s a pain that I wouldn’t wish upon my worst enemy!

When it comes to a relationship ending, honey I can relate. Having a person walk out on you, choose someone else over you, or cheat on you (or all of the above) is something that is extremely hard to go through. You feel used and taken for granted by a person that you love, wondering how could they and why? Knowing you went above and beyond for that person, giving them no reason to walk out on you. Yet, they found some selfish reason to do so. Bump them!

My Story

To sum up my story, I was dating this guy for almost three years. We eventually moved in together (forty-five minutes away from my hometown, family, and friends), mistake #1! I re-located my job, mistake #2. Basically, I did everything for this man, putting him before myself. Mistake #3! To me, I thought our relationship was peachy and we were headed towards marriage. I seriously thought life was good. Ha! Well, I guess he had other plans because he broke up with me and chose another woman he had been cheating on me with. When I found out I was devastated! I was completely blindsided. Literally, a week before our relationship came crumbling down, we celebrated Valentine’s Day. We conversed about our future together, little did I know in reality he was not referring to his future with me. While I was left to pick up the pieces, he moved on and is living happily ever after. There is a lot more to the story but I will save that for a later post.

Stay tuned...

I wish people would understand that love is more than just a feeling, it is something that you have to choose to work for and keep alive. It is not something that is painful nor will it ever cheat on you. Would God cheat on you? No and never will he. So why settle for a human being cheating on you? Gods love is everlasting and he is the perfect companion. He wipes every tear when they fall, he comforts you when you’re lonely, he is your shelter from the rain, he feeds you when you are hungry, and he always makes a way out of no way! So understand that you will get through this!

This relationship ending was God closing a door that you probably shouldn’t have opened in the first place. It’s just as the saying goes…

“When God closes a door, he opens up another.”

So cliché I know but it certainly is true. Allow him to close that door of that relationship, don’t fight him to keep it open! Protect your heart from the heartache that they have already caused you. Don’t allow them to keep hurting you. And honey take it from me, don’t go around digging and trying to find out answers either. What do I mean by digging? I mean stalking his social media accounts, asking his family and friends questions, trying to contact him. Trust me, been there, done that! You are only adding fuel to that narcissistic fool's fire. It will only bring you more pain or cause you to question even more. Trust me, if I could go back in time, I would have closed that door and nailed it shut!  

I know right now it may be hard for you but know that it gets better. This is not the end, it’s only the beginning. What is for you on the other side of this will so much sweeter. This is only a test to your testimony, so don’t give up! I know it may be easier said than done but don’t allow the devil or that man/woman that hurt you to defeat you. Don’t allow this situation to run your life. Honey, they are not worth it!

Keep pressing into the word of God, not into your circumstances and your healer will do his thing!

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. Love never ends.”