Prayer Journal

When they say reading is fundamental, writing is as well. Writing out your prayers can be so relieving. This has been something I've always done, ever since I was a teen. I always kept a journal/diary that I would write about whatever was on my mind and I didn't want to share with anyone else. God certainly knows how to keep a secret! I even remember having a journal with my best friend in middle school, where we wrote back and forth to each other every week. I still have it till this day.

As I've gotten older, I turned my "diary" into my prayer journal. This is where I cast all of my cares unto the Lord and just talk to Jesus. Let me tell you! Writing in a journal can relieve so much stress and truly clear your mind! It gives you a chance to release your ideas, pray, and really take a moment to reflect. No matter what you may be going through, take the time out each day or every few days (whenever your schedule permits) and just write whatever it is on your heart. During my tough breakup, I went through two journals of just prayers, crying out to him and explaining to him how I felt.

It's always fun to go back to your old journals and read them. You will look back at how far you've come! Sometimes, I read an old journal entry/prayer and wonder to myself, why did I even waste my time writing about that non-sense. It's all about growth honey! It is also great to have a place where you can track your good moments in life as well. Write about that new job, that wonderful date that you had, or even about just having a great day.

Sometimes, I'm not the best when it comes to praying out loud or in my head because I become distracted. Writing down my prayers, I am able to focus a bit more. I'm able to back track in my prayers. This is why I choose to write in my prayer journal. It also teaches me discipline to spend time with God.

Now, if your anything like me you need some cute writing materials to help keep you motivated. I always find the cutest journals at ROSS. They are always affordable and there are so many to choose from. Sometimes, I use colorful pens and stickers to keep it interesting to the eye.

As we go into the new year, truly consider purchasing a journal to help cast your cares unto the Lord. Trust me, you will not regret it. Spend time with the Lord because he loves your like crazy!

Forgiveness

Learn from what happen, pray for them, and move forward. The door is now closed, and guess what? It will be okay.

– Tovares Grey

When someone hurts you, its so easy to want to pay them back in full! If you are anything like me, you would want to do some damage, girl! But you see, I'm a classy woman, therefore I took the high road and just left with my head held high. Now, I can't speak for my friends and family, they want to kick some butt, slash some tires, and some more stuff. My friends always tell me I am such a strong woman for handling the entire situation the way I did. I had to say to myself, is it really worth it? Worth the energy and dignity to try and hurt them the way that they hurt me.

The Bible tells us to befriend our enemies. Eh! I can't say that I will ever befriend him but I can say that I can give him respect just as a cashier in the grocery store. You know the smile and pay for your grocery and you out, type of respect!

When we've been wounded by someone, it's hard to forgive that person for what they may have caused you. Especially, if you never receive closure or a simple sorry. The truth is forgiveness is not always for the person that hurt you, it's for you. It allows you to move on from that chapter in your life. When you don't forgive that person that cut you so deeply it is only hindering you in your healing process.

Now, I am not saying that you have to call that person up or send them a text stating that you have forgiven them. Do as you see fit but that person doesn't necessarily have to know. Your forgiveness towards them could be as simple as cracking a smile to them as they walk by. Forgiving them definitely does not excuse their misdeeds towards you but it allows you to be the bigger person. You are able to recognize, forgive, and love them from a distance in spite of their actions. Honey, you are much stronger that you think!

During this healing process it's hard to forgive. I know firsthand it took me awhile to forgive that fool for what he put me through. He hurt me so badly. I had to realize that if I was going to move on, I had to forgive him and his selfish ways. I even had to forgive the female that he cheated on me with. I constantly prayed for the Lord to work on me and my ability to forgive them. It's a process in itself and certainly not easy trust me! It is nothing that happens over night. When you are truly able to understand that their removal from your life is for your good and making room for greater, it's easier to forgive them and thank them for walking out of your life.

*Praise Dance*

As I've said before, forgiveness is something that you have to do for YOU. Learn to forgive them even if they’re not sorry. Pray for them. Allow God to handle them the way that he sees fit. I know it’s easy to sit around and wish that they can feel your pain or wish karma over their lives but it isn’t the right thing to do. It is not your place to wish horrible things upon their lives because of what they have done to you. I personally struggled in this area. I desperately wanted him to feel the pain, to cry every night, for him to get cheated on, beg for me back, etc. The list goes on but I had to realize that he was not my problem anymore and I had to hand him over to the Lord. He wasn’t my responsibility, no matter how much I wanted to take matters into my own hands. I truly had to let go and a part of letting go was truly forgiving him. When you are able to honestly let go, it will be a weight lifted off of your spirit. Relief. That person doesn’t deserve you to give them anymore of yourself. Not your time nor your thoughts. They walked out or caused you to have to walk out remember? So, don’t allow for them to constantly run your life.

You have to realize that breakups aren’t always meant for make ups, sometimes relationships end so you can wake up!

-Kimberly Jones Pothier

When someone breaks up with you and continues to try to hurt you. Do yourself favor and cut them off. Apply the no contact rule. No phone calls, no text messages, sliding in the DM's, no nothing!Allowing them to continue to have access to you creates confusion and it keeps your heart from mending. Misery loves company so don’t allow for them to cause that in your life. They broke up with you, broke your heart and now they don’t want to see you happy. Know that you are a child of God and in him comes joy, not temporary happiness. That heartbreak and rejection was God’s way of saying, “I’ve got BETTER for you. Girl get ready!

Forgiveness:

-          Breaks a cycle of retaliation and leads to mutual reconciliation.

-          May make the enemy feel ashamed and change his or her ways.

-          Repaying evil with evil, hurts you just as much as it hurts your enemy.

“Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone. Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger to God. For the scripture says, I will take revenge, I will pay them back,” says the Lord.”

Romans 13: 17-19

Jealously is a Disease

Have you ever felt like life was happening around you but not to you?

Before the breakup, life was good and everything seem to be going according to plan, MY plan that is. I thought I was about to get my diamond ring, have my dream wedding, and have those beautiful children. Before my eyes, everything went left and came crashing down. Then, once I had learned to accept what had happened and became a little content, it seems like everyone around me has everything going for themselves but me. Have you ever felt this way? Preach to me if you have! 

A spirit of envy had taken ahold of my heart.

Your friends are getting married and having children, getting new jobs, buying new houses, and truly enjoying life. But what about me?! You may be asking yourself. Everyone is being blessed with the things that you want, while you are left trying to pick up the pieces and mending a broken heart.

Girl... I can tell you jealousy is a powerful thing! It is not a characteristic of a Christian and it only shows that you are still being controlled and conformed by your own desires.

Please understand that each of us has a purpose in life and no one’s path is the same. Yet, no matter what one’s task is, it is all for the works for the Lord.

1 Corinthians 3:3.

Being jealous indicates that we are not satisfied with what God has already blessed you with. How can God trust us with more if we are not content with what we already have? According to Paul, those who practice jealousy will not inherit the Kingdom of God.

Girl, I can attest, during my time of healing from my breakup it seemed like everyone around me was doing great, while I was crying myself to sleep every night! My friends were having babies, travelling, getting married, and living life the way that I wanted. I thought God had forgotten  all about me! Here I am going through so much pain and trying to do the right thing, I felt like my life was at a complete stand still. (Not knowing that He was working behind the scenes, you know he is always working right?) How is this fair! Whelp, as the saying goes... Life isn't fair!

The act of jealousy is needing something someone else has to be fully satisfied. For example, if you desire to have a child and you learn that your friend is pregnant, jealousy can consume you. It is what you want and what you feel you need to be satisfied in this world. One of the first steps in overcoming jealousy is truly understanding that you are not trusting God and his promise that he over your life. You are conforming to the things of this world to be satisfied. I'm going to tell you, on the other side of that envious heart is a blessing awaiting to happen!

Although, you may feel as though you are in a dry season and things seem to be moving slow for you compared to others, hold on. It is only going to make the desires of your heart when they do come that much greater. One thing that you have to remember also is to not compare yourself to others. God has not forgotten about you honey. In this world, it is so easy to do so but you have to fight the fight of faith. You have to learn to trust his plan and believe.

What he has for you is for you. No one cane take it from you.

Do not allow what is happening around you and to others to set you back from your destiny. Social Media is certainly something that contributes to jealousy. You only see the good through the pictures and videos, not the bad and the ugly. I know for me some times I have to step back from my social media accounts and really focus on what I have been blessed with. Try it sometime, you may realize you actually have really darn good!

So, stop looking around for your satisfaction. Your time will come for those things that you want. It may not come when you want it but He is always on time!

“As the slower times humbles us, deepen our longings, and make the deliverance all the sweeter when it comes.”

Unknown

Face the Facts

“Acceptance of what has happened is the first step
to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune.”

William James

Let's face the facts! The breakup happened. It's time to get out of your denial and come to realization that they are gone. Stop thinking, "Oh, they'll be back." Honey, they don't need to come back! They made a choice or you had to make the choice to walk away. Why give them the options and have chance after chance? Once you've made that choice to leave, there is no coming back over here! It's a done deal. Now it's time for you to make the decision to either live in denial, fighting to keep that door open to a broken relationship. Or you can make the choice to allow God to close that door and restore you. I know it's hard but it's time to take the steps to accept what has happened. Honey, it is not easy but trust and believe that there is always sunshine after the storm.

That random that has caused you that indescribable pain, let them go! Let them live the life that they choose to live. All you can do is pray for them and leave them in the hands of the Lord. When you are able to fully let them go, you will feel a weight lifted off of your heart. When you want to move towards acceptance, you have to find it within yourself to dig deep. Decide if you want to continue to hurt or do you want to live the life that God has promised you. Girl, its all apart of the his plan! Don't allow this situation to block or hinder your growth any longer. Take back what the devil stole from you. He didn't steal that man either! Accept and move forward in your healing. Don't fight to hold on to a relationship that you thought was meant for you.

What is meant for you, is for you. No one can take it from you.

Acceptance is certainly a hard pill to swallow. Yet, when you are sick and tired of being sick and tired you will figure out a way to swallow it. Its hard to accept that the person that you want doesn't want you anymore. No one likes rejection! You have been hurt, abused, and lied to but God is still in control. There was a point where I kept saying to myself, "why is this happening to me?" I thought I did everything right. Just because your a child of God doesn't mean your immune to the things of this world. Don't carry this hurt and know that you are not alone. Sometimes it seems like there is no way out but in due time things will turn around. This situation is only temporary. Be strong!

He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless (Isaiah 40:29).

You can and will make it through but you have to accept the reality of it all. Make the decision today that you will no longer live in denial. You will no longer allow for him or her, nor the devil to delay your healing. They are not worth it so don't allow them to rule your life. This is something that I had to work on daily. I allowed for him to rule my life by taking over my mind, being afraid to go out in public, continuing on social media, and loosing myself because of what he did to me. I was so ashamed when I didn't do anything wrong! I’m telling you out of experience to fight that spirit of defeat. Greater is coming if you just hold on and don't allow yourself to give up. God always gets the victory so remain in his corner because he is fighting this battle for you!

“Lord grant me the ability to change the things that I can change and accept the things that I am unable to change, and the wisdom to know the difference.”