When THEY won't let YOU move on

It amazes me when you have or your trying to move on and people will not allow you to. Maybe I should say, people make it hard for you to. There are so many people in this world that feed off of drama! They feel the need to get their daily meal out of someone's else's life. Once (and during) I got over the relationship with that troll, people felt the need to "report" to me what he had going on. Like I cared! Okay, transparent moment. Honestly in the beginning I wanted to know because I did not want to see him "doing good." I wanted to hear that he was going through pain and got cheated on himself! But after awhile I could have cared less! Trying to keep up with what he had going all while putting myself back together was draining! 

Not giving a jam about what they have going on in their life... That is called progression girl! People would tell me oh, he brought a house, or he got married, he did this and he did that. Hearing all of it was so exhausting! All I wanted to do was move on from that chapter in my life. Yet, nosey roseies wanted to keep hope alive. It wasn't benefiting me though, only themselves. Giving them something to gossip about. They were just picking at my healed wounds. Please baby girl, do not allow this to happen to you. If they want to keep up with the latest drama of everyone's else's life instead of their own, let them! Just say to them "Look Honey, don't bring that mess over here. He is a non factor to me now."  

You should care less about what they having going on. Be happy for them! I know your like, how can I be happy for someone that did what they did to me? You have to forgive. At first, its going to be hard but eventually it will get easier. I hated hearing about how "good" he was doing. I struggled with how could he possibly be living happily ever after, after what he did! Oh they moved on? Oh their having a baby? Tell yourself your happy for them and pray for him. 

Those constant news updates are only holding you back. Only for that report to possibly get back to him. People love traveling your gossip, instead of their own. I remember a situation happened that I was upset about and people went back and told him. Then I got the report back that he laughed about it. It gave his narcissistic tail satisfaction. Don't allow him to keep being pleased off of your hurt. It's not fair to you. Tell those people to mind there own business but we all know that's hard for them to do! You need to careless about what he may be doing and do you boo! 

There is always going to be people in this world that is going to try and bring you down. Expect it but don't let it stop your show! They will eventually realize that you are unbothered by him or what he has going on. That little motion he has going on in his life is nothing compared to what God has in store for you! Now I am not one to wish anything bad on anyone but karma comes back around. So while they are off married and having kids with the new girl, applaud them! That door has been closed and the door that is about to open.... *praise break*

Just because they are posting how happy they are in on social media, trying to keep up with the Jones, there is always things going on behind closed doors. So don't let them fool you! They want people to report what they have "good" going on in their life continuously only to cover up what's really going on.. Look at it this way, be pleased that you are still relevant in their life. You've moved on and it could be years later but your still topic of conversation. I don't get it but don't even give it time nor energy. Pray for those people that have nothing better to do..

So! If your girlfriend hits you up. "Girllll, I got some tea for you!" Then they go on to tell you about YOUR ex and what he has going on. Stop them! Right there is mid sentence. Tell them to have several seats and you are not concerned! Tell them just like that and in that order. No one has time to be worried about the next one and what they have going on in their lives when God is trying to work on you. Don't allow other to hold you back from your blessings. It's only the devil stalling you from your healing. 

The Highlight Reel

Social Media has become so many peoples reality. It's pretty sad if you think about it. They live off of the amount of likes and comments that they get from an edited photo or filtered video. This is what we call a highlight reel. A place where individuals highlight all the good in their lives, showcasing what they WANT you to see. Ok, I'm guilty but I am not about to put up the bad and ugly going on in my life, who does that? So, the outsider looking in gets drawn into the false advertisements of others lives. Thinking that they've got it all put together and got it going on. Well honey, I am here to tell you that they don't! 

Real recognize Real Moment

For me, when I was digging where I had no business, in his profile, I would see him posting pictures of them together all happy go lucky. He kept his profile open for awhile, which I believe was a tactic to get to me, and it worked! Anyways, he would post pictures of them like he didn't just break up with me a week ago and took all of our pictures down. He had this girl in his back pocket for awhile is what it all boils down to. He broke up with me and pulled her out for the entire world to see! Just like that and in that order. He would post captions such as "He is happier than he's ever been." Not to mention he said the same things about me, under our pictures. Girl, he are putting on for the media, hard! It was so annoying but I was dumb enough to keep feeding into it.

Understand this, no matter how much people stunt for social media, in real life they are still the SAME person. Remember that! They just have someone new around their arm and on their page. So the same things you dealt with him are the same things that she is going to have to deal with. The poor finance management, self centered mentality, the lies, and maybe the cheating still remains. They can not change those traits in a matter of days.

 Is it really true, "Once a cheater, always a cheater?" 

Don't get caught up in the edited photos because honestly you don't know what is going on behind closed doors. Nor is it any of your business because guess what? They aren't your problem anymore! Let's give a huge sigh of relief! 

These social media platforms are places where people want you to think only the good of them. I mean who is going to post a picture of the mess that they are in? So, stop searching, because when you start digging you are bound to find something.

Get off of their social media! Block them if you have to. I know I sure did. It came to a point where I didn't want to know anything about what they had going on and I dang on sure didn't want them to know what I was doing! Not to say that they were concerned in the first place but I wasn't giving them the option! I truly had to remove myself from social media to guard my heart. Mainly because I was ashamed of what others would think of me. I mean he did cheat on me. I use to think that well since he cheated on me I had to have done something wrong...

Wrong answer! I was more than a great woman to that boy. He just wasn't man enough to see it. I wasn't good enough for him and that is perfectly fine. Just know that you will be good enough for somebody one day! 

Let me tell you one thing that I learned during my break-up, people aren't stupid. They can figure things out through a couple of photos. It's crazy! It's sad but people live for the drama girl. They can figure out if you deleted your pictures off Instagram of one girl then a few weeks later you flood their timelines with a new one...just saying girl! So don't drive yourself crazy wondering what everyone is thinking. Who cares?! You did nothing wrong so live in your truth. They will end up trying to put two and two together, so you don't have to explain yourself to anyone. Trust me, they will ask. There are always three sides to every story, yours, theirs, and the truth. Honey, God doesn't like ugly so if they continue to lie on you the truth will eventually come out. So don't waste your time trying to explain your side of the story! Let God work it out. What's that saying? What goes around comes back around. 

It may not be immediately but it will make its way back around. Let them put on for their social media sights and live their life, it is ok. It is not always what it seems, so do not feed into what it seems to be and allow your mind to play tricks on you. Allow social media be what it is and live in YOUR reality.

Isaiah 41:10

“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

Jealously is a Disease

Have you ever felt like life was happening around you but not to you?

Before the breakup, life was good and everything seem to be going according to plan, MY plan that is. I thought I was about to get my diamond ring, have my dream wedding, and have those beautiful children. Before my eyes, everything went left and came crashing down. Then, once I had learned to accept what had happened and became a little content, it seems like everyone around me has everything going for themselves but me. Have you ever felt this way? Preach to me if you have! 

A spirit of envy had taken ahold of my heart.

Your friends are getting married and having children, getting new jobs, buying new houses, and truly enjoying life. But what about me?! You may be asking yourself. Everyone is being blessed with the things that you want, while you are left trying to pick up the pieces and mending a broken heart.

Girl... I can tell you jealousy is a powerful thing! It is not a characteristic of a Christian and it only shows that you are still being controlled and conformed by your own desires.

Please understand that each of us has a purpose in life and no one’s path is the same. Yet, no matter what one’s task is, it is all for the works for the Lord.

1 Corinthians 3:3.

Being jealous indicates that we are not satisfied with what God has already blessed you with. How can God trust us with more if we are not content with what we already have? According to Paul, those who practice jealousy will not inherit the Kingdom of God.

Girl, I can attest, during my time of healing from my breakup it seemed like everyone around me was doing great, while I was crying myself to sleep every night! My friends were having babies, travelling, getting married, and living life the way that I wanted. I thought God had forgotten  all about me! Here I am going through so much pain and trying to do the right thing, I felt like my life was at a complete stand still. (Not knowing that He was working behind the scenes, you know he is always working right?) How is this fair! Whelp, as the saying goes... Life isn't fair!

The act of jealousy is needing something someone else has to be fully satisfied. For example, if you desire to have a child and you learn that your friend is pregnant, jealousy can consume you. It is what you want and what you feel you need to be satisfied in this world. One of the first steps in overcoming jealousy is truly understanding that you are not trusting God and his promise that he over your life. You are conforming to the things of this world to be satisfied. I'm going to tell you, on the other side of that envious heart is a blessing awaiting to happen!

Although, you may feel as though you are in a dry season and things seem to be moving slow for you compared to others, hold on. It is only going to make the desires of your heart when they do come that much greater. One thing that you have to remember also is to not compare yourself to others. God has not forgotten about you honey. In this world, it is so easy to do so but you have to fight the fight of faith. You have to learn to trust his plan and believe.

What he has for you is for you. No one cane take it from you.

Do not allow what is happening around you and to others to set you back from your destiny. Social Media is certainly something that contributes to jealousy. You only see the good through the pictures and videos, not the bad and the ugly. I know for me some times I have to step back from my social media accounts and really focus on what I have been blessed with. Try it sometime, you may realize you actually have really darn good!

So, stop looking around for your satisfaction. Your time will come for those things that you want. It may not come when you want it but He is always on time!

“As the slower times humbles us, deepen our longings, and make the deliverance all the sweeter when it comes.”

Unknown

Face the Facts

“Acceptance of what has happened is the first step
to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune.”

William James

Let's face the facts! The breakup happened. It's time to get out of your denial and come to realization that they are gone. Stop thinking, "Oh, they'll be back." Honey, they don't need to come back! They made a choice or you had to make the choice to walk away. Why give them the options and have chance after chance? Once you've made that choice to leave, there is no coming back over here! It's a done deal. Now it's time for you to make the decision to either live in denial, fighting to keep that door open to a broken relationship. Or you can make the choice to allow God to close that door and restore you. I know it's hard but it's time to take the steps to accept what has happened. Honey, it is not easy but trust and believe that there is always sunshine after the storm.

That random that has caused you that indescribable pain, let them go! Let them live the life that they choose to live. All you can do is pray for them and leave them in the hands of the Lord. When you are able to fully let them go, you will feel a weight lifted off of your heart. When you want to move towards acceptance, you have to find it within yourself to dig deep. Decide if you want to continue to hurt or do you want to live the life that God has promised you. Girl, its all apart of the his plan! Don't allow this situation to block or hinder your growth any longer. Take back what the devil stole from you. He didn't steal that man either! Accept and move forward in your healing. Don't fight to hold on to a relationship that you thought was meant for you.

What is meant for you, is for you. No one can take it from you.

Acceptance is certainly a hard pill to swallow. Yet, when you are sick and tired of being sick and tired you will figure out a way to swallow it. Its hard to accept that the person that you want doesn't want you anymore. No one likes rejection! You have been hurt, abused, and lied to but God is still in control. There was a point where I kept saying to myself, "why is this happening to me?" I thought I did everything right. Just because your a child of God doesn't mean your immune to the things of this world. Don't carry this hurt and know that you are not alone. Sometimes it seems like there is no way out but in due time things will turn around. This situation is only temporary. Be strong!

He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless (Isaiah 40:29).

You can and will make it through but you have to accept the reality of it all. Make the decision today that you will no longer live in denial. You will no longer allow for him or her, nor the devil to delay your healing. They are not worth it so don't allow them to rule your life. This is something that I had to work on daily. I allowed for him to rule my life by taking over my mind, being afraid to go out in public, continuing on social media, and loosing myself because of what he did to me. I was so ashamed when I didn't do anything wrong! I’m telling you out of experience to fight that spirit of defeat. Greater is coming if you just hold on and don't allow yourself to give up. God always gets the victory so remain in his corner because he is fighting this battle for you!

“Lord grant me the ability to change the things that I can change and accept the things that I am unable to change, and the wisdom to know the difference.”