When THEY won't let YOU move on

It amazes me when you have or your trying to move on and people will not allow you to. Maybe I should say, people make it hard for you to. There are so many people in this world that feed off of drama! They feel the need to get their daily meal out of someone's else's life. Once (and during) I got over the relationship with that troll, people felt the need to "report" to me what he had going on. Like I cared! Okay, transparent moment. Honestly in the beginning I wanted to know because I did not want to see him "doing good." I wanted to hear that he was going through pain and got cheated on himself! But after awhile I could have cared less! Trying to keep up with what he had going all while putting myself back together was draining! 

Not giving a jam about what they have going on in their life... That is called progression girl! People would tell me oh, he brought a house, or he got married, he did this and he did that. Hearing all of it was so exhausting! All I wanted to do was move on from that chapter in my life. Yet, nosey roseies wanted to keep hope alive. It wasn't benefiting me though, only themselves. Giving them something to gossip about. They were just picking at my healed wounds. Please baby girl, do not allow this to happen to you. If they want to keep up with the latest drama of everyone's else's life instead of their own, let them! Just say to them "Look Honey, don't bring that mess over here. He is a non factor to me now."  

You should care less about what they having going on. Be happy for them! I know your like, how can I be happy for someone that did what they did to me? You have to forgive. At first, its going to be hard but eventually it will get easier. I hated hearing about how "good" he was doing. I struggled with how could he possibly be living happily ever after, after what he did! Oh they moved on? Oh their having a baby? Tell yourself your happy for them and pray for him. 

Those constant news updates are only holding you back. Only for that report to possibly get back to him. People love traveling your gossip, instead of their own. I remember a situation happened that I was upset about and people went back and told him. Then I got the report back that he laughed about it. It gave his narcissistic tail satisfaction. Don't allow him to keep being pleased off of your hurt. It's not fair to you. Tell those people to mind there own business but we all know that's hard for them to do! You need to careless about what he may be doing and do you boo! 

There is always going to be people in this world that is going to try and bring you down. Expect it but don't let it stop your show! They will eventually realize that you are unbothered by him or what he has going on. That little motion he has going on in his life is nothing compared to what God has in store for you! Now I am not one to wish anything bad on anyone but karma comes back around. So while they are off married and having kids with the new girl, applaud them! That door has been closed and the door that is about to open.... *praise break*

Just because they are posting how happy they are in on social media, trying to keep up with the Jones, there is always things going on behind closed doors. So don't let them fool you! They want people to report what they have "good" going on in their life continuously only to cover up what's really going on.. Look at it this way, be pleased that you are still relevant in their life. You've moved on and it could be years later but your still topic of conversation. I don't get it but don't even give it time nor energy. Pray for those people that have nothing better to do..

So! If your girlfriend hits you up. "Girllll, I got some tea for you!" Then they go on to tell you about YOUR ex and what he has going on. Stop them! Right there is mid sentence. Tell them to have several seats and you are not concerned! Tell them just like that and in that order. No one has time to be worried about the next one and what they have going on in their lives when God is trying to work on you. Don't allow other to hold you back from your blessings. It's only the devil stalling you from your healing. 

Forgiveness

Learn from what happen, pray for them, and move forward. The door is now closed, and guess what? It will be okay.

– Tovares Grey

When someone hurts you, its so easy to want to pay them back in full! If you are anything like me, you would want to do some damage, girl! But you see, I'm a classy woman, therefore I took the high road and just left with my head held high. Now, I can't speak for my friends and family, they want to kick some butt, slash some tires, and some more stuff. My friends always tell me I am such a strong woman for handling the entire situation the way I did. I had to say to myself, is it really worth it? Worth the energy and dignity to try and hurt them the way that they hurt me.

The Bible tells us to befriend our enemies. Eh! I can't say that I will ever befriend him but I can say that I can give him respect just as a cashier in the grocery store. You know the smile and pay for your grocery and you out, type of respect!

When we've been wounded by someone, it's hard to forgive that person for what they may have caused you. Especially, if you never receive closure or a simple sorry. The truth is forgiveness is not always for the person that hurt you, it's for you. It allows you to move on from that chapter in your life. When you don't forgive that person that cut you so deeply it is only hindering you in your healing process.

Now, I am not saying that you have to call that person up or send them a text stating that you have forgiven them. Do as you see fit but that person doesn't necessarily have to know. Your forgiveness towards them could be as simple as cracking a smile to them as they walk by. Forgiving them definitely does not excuse their misdeeds towards you but it allows you to be the bigger person. You are able to recognize, forgive, and love them from a distance in spite of their actions. Honey, you are much stronger that you think!

During this healing process it's hard to forgive. I know firsthand it took me awhile to forgive that fool for what he put me through. He hurt me so badly. I had to realize that if I was going to move on, I had to forgive him and his selfish ways. I even had to forgive the female that he cheated on me with. I constantly prayed for the Lord to work on me and my ability to forgive them. It's a process in itself and certainly not easy trust me! It is nothing that happens over night. When you are truly able to understand that their removal from your life is for your good and making room for greater, it's easier to forgive them and thank them for walking out of your life.

*Praise Dance*

As I've said before, forgiveness is something that you have to do for YOU. Learn to forgive them even if they’re not sorry. Pray for them. Allow God to handle them the way that he sees fit. I know it’s easy to sit around and wish that they can feel your pain or wish karma over their lives but it isn’t the right thing to do. It is not your place to wish horrible things upon their lives because of what they have done to you. I personally struggled in this area. I desperately wanted him to feel the pain, to cry every night, for him to get cheated on, beg for me back, etc. The list goes on but I had to realize that he was not my problem anymore and I had to hand him over to the Lord. He wasn’t my responsibility, no matter how much I wanted to take matters into my own hands. I truly had to let go and a part of letting go was truly forgiving him. When you are able to honestly let go, it will be a weight lifted off of your spirit. Relief. That person doesn’t deserve you to give them anymore of yourself. Not your time nor your thoughts. They walked out or caused you to have to walk out remember? So, don’t allow for them to constantly run your life.

You have to realize that breakups aren’t always meant for make ups, sometimes relationships end so you can wake up!

-Kimberly Jones Pothier

When someone breaks up with you and continues to try to hurt you. Do yourself favor and cut them off. Apply the no contact rule. No phone calls, no text messages, sliding in the DM's, no nothing!Allowing them to continue to have access to you creates confusion and it keeps your heart from mending. Misery loves company so don’t allow for them to cause that in your life. They broke up with you, broke your heart and now they don’t want to see you happy. Know that you are a child of God and in him comes joy, not temporary happiness. That heartbreak and rejection was God’s way of saying, “I’ve got BETTER for you. Girl get ready!

Forgiveness:

-          Breaks a cycle of retaliation and leads to mutual reconciliation.

-          May make the enemy feel ashamed and change his or her ways.

-          Repaying evil with evil, hurts you just as much as it hurts your enemy.

“Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone. Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger to God. For the scripture says, I will take revenge, I will pay them back,” says the Lord.”

Romans 13: 17-19